Crazy Neighborhood Lady


I am proud to admit I have become THAT crazy neighborhood lady!!!

I can remember when Luke and I moved into our new house in Pensacola at Heron’s Forest. We would be driving in our neighborhood and see this lady that would wave violently at you doing a thumbs down signal! You could see the veins popping out in her forehead! Man! We would think, what a nut!

Here I am years later with small children. I watch cars come down my street going anywhere from 45mph to some I’ve seen that I KNOW were topping 60mph! My kids cross this street! And yes, they are both very good about looking both ways but that won’t help if a car comes flying down street at 60mph!

I would bet your thoughts run to teenagers speeding through. And a few are. But I’ve mostly seen MOMS in mini vans and SUVs doing it! These people have kids of their own! What are they thinking? Stupid teenagers I can SOMEWHAT forgive for some moderate speeding, but MOMS??? Come on!!! What is so f*cking important that it’s worth killing someone’s kid for?

My new tactic: If I am in my car on my street and see a car heading toward me at a high rate of speed, I veer over into their lane and start playing chicken with them forcing them to stop. I look them right in the eye and scream, “SLOW DOWN!!!”

My first victim was a mother from my kid’s school. She used to live right down the street!!! She recently moved to a neighborhood just across the road. She’s a doctor’s wife and has never given me the time of day and I don’t like her anyway. She was barreling down my street at about 50mph….the SAME street HER kids once lived on! Oh HELL no! I performed the above tactic.  The second was a teenager just a few days ago. I pulled in front of him and laid on my horn screaming!

PEOPLE!!! I beg of you! Use your head! Don’t kill someone’s child in a neighborhood where they should be free to play without such worries! Save your speeding for the interstate, if you must speed. You don’t want the guilt of hurting someone’s child following you the rest of your life.

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