Great information for dealing with a narcissist

Great information for dealing with a narcissist

I’m slowly making my way through the book Co-Dependent No More. CBT comes in quite handy in learning how to break the cycle of co-dependency. One of the things I’ve recently made great strides in is accepting my relationship with my husband for who he is and not reacting to his actions or behaviors. It wasn’t easy and it’s not mastered completely, but I’m progressing.

“He does not say anything when I explain inner bonding, intent or control – just stares.”

You need to explore what feelings you are avoiding by trying to change him. You need to come to terms with the fact that while you are explaining Inner Bonding and explaining the intent to learn and the intent to control to him, your own intent is to control!

He is likely in complete resistance to being controlled by you. You need to either completely accept him exactly the way he is, or leave the relationship, but ‘reaching him,’ changing him, controlling him is not an option. Leaving the relationship before healing your end of this system – which is very much about trying to control him – will only delay you in healing your end of the system. So I suggest that, for the time being, you accept him as he is and put your attention on learning to love your little girl in the face of his disconnected behavior. Every time you focus on him instead of you, you are disconnecting from yourself and making him responsible for you.